Chronically single people of the world, it’s time to stop playing yourselves.
There are some of you out there who have spent years or perhaps even your entire lives without a significant other. You don’t necessarily need a SO to be happy or fulfilled, but we all know it could be pretty damn nice to have one.
Every chronically single person has an excuse to explain their situation. Let me emphasize that; chronically single people are single because of their excuses. Classic examples include:
- I don’t have time
- I don’t know how to talk to girls/guys
- I’m too unattractive
- I can’t find anybody that I like
- All these people of the opposite sex only like jerks and I’m a nice guy
We all have different situations and some of these excuses could very well have some degrees of validity. Some people do have busy occupations, others have teeth that seemingly grew out in random directions, certain people are just naturally less confident than others, etc. However at the end of the day, those excuses are just that, excuses.
No matter how busy, ugly, or stuck in a cruddy situation you are, there are others out there that have succeeded with much worse. If an on-call brain surgeon who practically lives in his hospital can find love, you can as well. If the bed-ridden participants on “My 600-lb Life” can find someone, you sure as hell can too. It’s your choice as to whether your excuses will become hurdles to overcome, or walls to halt your life. Nobody is going to care or give you any credit if all you do is complain and feel sorry for yourself. Time only moves forward in life, and it’s up to you whether you go along with it.
Pulling yourself out of perpetual singleness can require a lot of different steps. Many of these steps alone could be addressed by their own article. Confidence, fitness, finances, style and etc are all considerations to think about. However for the purpose of this article, let’s discuss one of the most important things you can do right now to get started on your journey.
Learn to Create and Take Opportunities
Did you do anything today that could have increased your chances of finding a significant other? Did you do anything yesterday? What about during the past week?
Here’s something to think about:
- If you stay at home and watch Netflix all day, the chances that you’ll meet someone and develop a relationship is effectively 0%.
- What about if you go grocery shopping at the supermarket? Maybe you’ll reach for the same jar of peanut butter at the same time as someone that you find attractive, and things could get started from there. Chances of that are minuscule, but hey it’s still greater than 0% right?
- Your friend invites you to go hang out at a bar. He knows you’re single, and wants you to try talking to other people. You don’t like the idea; after all you get nervous in these types of situations, you’re tired after working all week, and there are usually a whole lot of better looking people at the bar than you. But no matter what your reasoning is, surely the chances that you meet someone compatible are greater than the chances of a peanut butter love at the supermarket. And certainly they’re better than doing absolutely nothing at all.
Taking the opportunities that come your way will only push your chances of success forward. No matter how slim you think the possibilities are, actions will always be a greater alternative to doing nothing.
An even better way to increase your chances is to create productive opportunities. Walking around the supermarket a million times could eventually lead to love, but of course there are much easier ways to go about things. You should strive to put yourself in environments where:
- You’re around people of the demographic that you’re attracted to
- You have similar interests or goals with others in the environment
- The environment or situation is conductive to socializing and mingling
Examples of such places could include, but are not limited to:
- A social gathering or party with some friends and people you haven’t met before
- A hobbyist club; whether it’s books, hiking, photography, or whatever
- A bar or local street festival where people are hanging out and having fun
Now you shouldn’t necessarily go into these environments with the sole purpose of finding a partner. Try to have a good time and enjoy yourself first and foremost. The point is, you’re more likely to find someone that you’re attracted to in these places, and something could happen with them. You’re creating an opportunity, a possibility, that wouldn’t have existed if you’d simply stayed at home.
This might sound like obvious stuff, but how many of you actually do this? Furthermore, how many of you actively do this? If you’re chronically single and your favorite hobbies are complaining and self-pity, you probably don’t. Yes, it can be hard to put yourself out there. Maybe you’ll end up wasting your time at a lot of events. Maybe you’ll embarrass yourself trying to talk to someone you like. Maybe you’ll go through some real hard times.
But so what? It only takes one person to make it all worth it. Find them.
– Don’t be like this
The steps to your success aren’t going to walk themselves. The best thing you can do to prepare yourself is to let go of your ego.