Life is a constant learning process, and one of the most important things that I’ve learned recently is the fine line between love and hate. They’re intense feelings on opposite ends of a spectrum, but they’re also razor close to each other at the same time. The transition from one to the other is much easier than people realize, and many are often unprepared when it happens. Myself including.
When you love someone, you form expectations for yourself and that other person. Expectations to treat each other a certain way, achieve certain goals together, and to invest a certain amount of ourselves into each other. These expectations create an intensity and vulnerability within the relationship. You’re handing over a piece of your life to someone else in exchange for that feeling of warmth and happiness that is called love.
This trade-off may seem easy in the beginning while you’re in the honeymoon phase. There are lots of problems in this world, but love can make it seem like none of them exist. But no matter who you are, or who your partner is, there is going to be a point where the honeymoon ends, and the problems have to be approached.
The expectations that you set for the relationship will be challenged. The expectations that your partner set will be challenged. It’s not uncommon to realize that very different expectations exist within the relationship, and that’s something that can either be hurtful or be a great mutual growing point.
If you’re at this moment in your relationship right now and you’re upset, I want you to realize this: hate isn’t very far behind. Maybe you’re mad because you’re not being treated the way you want to be treated. Maybe something was said to you that rubbed you the wrong way. You might feel dumb for investing so much of yourself into someone who seemingly isn’t doing the same, and you might feel the need to get even.
Stop and ask yourself if that’s really worth it. There is a very thin line between love and hate. One hurtful comment or action may be all that is needed to step over to the other side. It isn’t easy to step back.
If a relationship has to end, then so be it. It is what it is. But don’t let hate be the reason why.