Life Personal

Making Your Bucket List Your Fuck-It List

I used to have a bucket list, but not anymore.

I used to lay in bed and think about all of the things that I wanted to accomplish before I died. I had lots of ideas, many of them extremely cliche. Jumping out of a plane, running a marathon, traveling the world; you name it, I probably had it.

I loved thinking up new ideas to add to my bucket list. It was almost as if it was an escape from my current life. The bucket list served as a promise for the future. A future in which I was constantly living life to the max, and experiencing the very best that the world had to offer.

Does this sound familiar to you? Do you have a list of things that you wish you could do, but you aren’t?

You definitely aren’t alone. We all have our own crazy dreams and ideas. We all also have our own reasons and excuses as to why we aren’t pursuing these things. Think about your greatest ambitions and why they’re ideas instead of memories. Ask yourself if you’re closer to achieving your ultimate goals today than you were yesterday.

I stopped having a bucket list because it made me complacent. Every entry into the list came with an excuse.

“I would love to skydive one day. Just not today, I’m too scared of heights right now. I’m not ready.”

“Yeah I want to run a marathon, but I don’t have the time to exercise. Also, my cardio is really bad. Maybe I’ll start preparing in the future.”

“I don’t have the money to travel at the moment, and I can’t just leave my home behind. I’ll do it when I’m older.”

“It’s okay, I’ll do it later. I have a lot of time left before I die.”

Constant excuses, one after another. Granted, some of these excuses were rooted in the actualities of life, as opposed to others that were mere charactertures of my fears. But regardless of how valid each excuse was, the end result was the same.

They stopped me. Instead of motivating me to make changes and fully live my life, my bucket list made me content with waiting for the future. Waiting for change to show up at my doorstep. Waiting for some kind of push, a sign in life telling me that the future can start now. I waited but these things never came. I realized that you can wait for life, but life isn’t going to wait for you. 

Yes, there are things that are completely out of our control, and goals that truly are impossible at the present. But the vast majority of what we want does not fall into that category. Take an honest look at your bucket list. How many of those things could you accomplish this week alone, or start the process of accomplishing if you simply said fuck it and went for it?

My fuck-it list.

I am terrified of heights. There was one time where I felt my legs shaking while I was on an indoor movie theater escalator. It was a BIG theater, and I could see the ground floor while I was traversing from the 5th to 6th floor. How could I ever skydive when an escalator is enough to scare me? Fuck it, that’s how. Growing older can’t defeat the fear. But jumping can.

Paragliding - off my bucket list

It’s embarrassing to admit, but I wanted to join the track team during high school in order to impress girls and win some medals. Mostly the girls part though. My plans were foiled when I couldn’t even make it past the first practice. I got too winded, and I quit. How could I get a marathon medal when I couldn’t even make it past ONE freshman year track practice? Fuck it. My mom didn’t raise a quitter.

Lotte World Tower International Sky Run 2019 Medal

I had a decent job back home in America. Life was alright. I had good friends and family there with me. But I had this itch. An itch to see the world and to have an experience far outside my comfort zone. So fuck it. I packed my bags and moved to Korea for a year. If I wasn’t going to do this while I was young, when else would I be able to?

Red luggage with green page and blue luggage with cat stickers

Last but not least, I felt that I had a lot of good thoughts about love and life. I wanted to share them, and really build something out of it. It’s tough to put yourself out there, but fuck it. Here it is. Here I am. And here you are.

I don’t have a bucket list. I made it into my fuck-it list, and the things on that list are going to be completed sooner rather than later. If you’re waiting for a sign to say fuck-it and go for your dreams, this it it. Let’s get it.  


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