It’s the ugliest word in dating, and it’s also the most paralyzing one for many of us. The mere threat of rejection is enough to stop even the most passionate feelings from turning into action. Being rejected can be embarrassing and disappointing, but it can also be a source of growth if you know how to handle it.
Here’s how you can change your mindset, and handle rejection like a champ instead of a chump:
Welcome Yourself To The Club
Did you get rejected recently? If so, welcome to the exclusive “been rejected” club that everyone else in the population is in!
Seriously. The first and most comforting thing about rejection is that everyone else has gone through it. It’s a reflection of how life is. Not everyone will like or appreciate you, and that’s okay. Rejection is a matter of when, not if, no matter who you are.
Think about all the people that you would never consider dating yourself. What’s wrong with them? It’s not as if you hate them, or think that they’re unworthy of being loved; they just aren’t the ones for you. We all have our own preferences, and ultimately not everyone can fit them. Of course the opposite applies to us in turn. It’s not personal. It is what it is. Accept your rejection club membership with pride, because everyone who has ever meant something has been in this club as well.
At Least You Were Able To Get Rejected
Being in the position to get rejected means you had the guts to put yourself out there, and the willingness to step outside of your comfort zone. A lot of people don’t have those things. There’s a lot of shook individuals who have never experienced rejection because they have never asked anyone out. They’re scared, and they’re letting that fear stop them.
At least if you get rejected, you’re pushing through and living life on your own terms. It’s an end result that isn’t ideal, but it means you’re on the right path and journey.
Rejection Is Better Than Regret
The toughest questions in life start with “What if.”
“What if I took that chance?”
“What if I asked that person out?”
“What if I truly pushed myself to my limits?”
These questions are formed when we’re given difficult choices with unknown consequences, and we decide to choose comfort instead. Comfort often leads to regret, along with those unknown consequences remaining that way forever.
This can’t be stressed enough. The time that we have in this world is limited, and the opportunities that come our way are limited as well. Rejection hurts, I get it. But at least you’ll have your questions answered if you get rejected. If you never go for the opportunities that you truly want, your life will be filled with those “what if’s.”
You don’t want to be constantly thinking of the life you could have, instead of the one that you actually do.
Keep Moving But Keep Your Emotions Honest
There are many different types of rejection. Being rejected by a close friend is a lot different, and perhaps painful, than some random turn-down at a bar for instance. Regardless of what the circumstances are, it’s important to be honest to yourself about how you feel.
Moving on is crucial, but you can’t do it at the expense of your emotions. If you’re going through some real pain, stop and handle that first. Don’t pretend like you’re invincible, and that rejection doesn’t faze you. You don’t have to say “it’s not a big deal” when it is. Rejection hits all of us in different ways, and there’s no true right or wrong way to feel about it.
Tackle those uncomfortable feelings head-on. Take some time off to feel sad or disappointed if you need it. Just make sure to come back stronger. Handle rejection like a champ by giving the next opportunity your very all.
“Pain is temporary. It may last a minute, or an hour, or a day, or a year, but eventually it will subside and something else will take its place. If I quit, however, it lasts forever.”
– Lance Armstrong