Ballet. Dressing in flashy colors. Liking theater and art over sports. What do all these things have in common?
Not much really. But if you’d ask certain guys, they might classify those three things into common category: things that are gay.
I don’t know what women are out here doing, but among men, there’s a common proclivity to mark things as gay, or not gay.
Not a lot of guys will admit it, but there’s a really common fear among men in having their sexuality questioned. Whether jokingly or not, most guys aren’t comfortable with going through such a process. Dipping their toes into a perceived “feminine” activity is akin to jumping into the deep end for some.
There’s nothing wrong with sexualities that deviate from being straight, and this is clearly an ideal that’s being accepted more and more. However I think for many men specifically, having their straightness ever in question is simply unacceptable. It’s a threat to who they are.
Ask a male friend if he ever wants to go take a ballroom dance class or something. Most would be reluctant, because it’s just simply out of the perceived norm. It’s not something that a group of stereotypical macho men would ever discuss doing.
This is so ludicrous though. The fact of the matter is, you’re straight or you’re not. Your sole sexual preference is the other gender, or it isn’t. That’s just how it is. It’s irrelevant whether or not you like things such as dancing, clothes shopping, or watching sappy love movies. These aren’t factors that determine your sexuality.
I wouldn’t consider myself an expert on LGBTQ matters, and this isn’t really a topic that I often write about, but I think it’s an important one. It’s just so incredibly lame when people limit their lives because they’re scared of how their sexuality will be perceived. That’s no way to live.
This topic came to my mind as I was recently reminiscing about my college days. I was drinking and eating KFC with my homeboy, when all of a sudden he tells me:
“You know I made out with a guy before, and it wasn’t bad.”
I was dumbfounded at the moment. “Wait what the hell? Are you gay?”
I known this guy for years though, and I knew that he wasn’t. He explained to me that he just wanted to try it out. How would he know whether or not he liked kissing guys if he never even tried?
It felt like a really weird real life rendition of a Katy Perry song, but I think that conversation has brought me great perspective. It’s not something that I’m personally curious to try out myself, but I can see where he was coming from. What he did would certainly be considered “gay” by many people, but it didn’t mean he was actually gay. It certainly didn’t turn him gay. He was who he was, and is who he is, before and afterwards.
Just live life how you want to live it man. Who cares if people think it’s gay or not?