What is love? But more importantly, what’s Takes One?
I have my spiel at the ready. Memorized really. Whenever somebody asks about this blog, and why I started it, I tell them the same story. I started this blog because of my super single doctor friend. I’ve known him for a decade now, and he’s a perfectly normal guy. Smart, not too weird, and attractive (reasonably). But somehow, he has just never found love.
You hear about all these unconventional love stories every day. Prison inmates finding someone, pen pal lovers who’ve never met, arranged marriages that end up lasting 50+ years, and etc. If all these people could somehow do it, why couldn’t he? There had to be something missing, and I felt like I could find it. And perhaps that’s why I started this blog; to put my thoughts on virtual paper, and to document the moments along our journey.
What is love?
My 2019/2020 version would tell you that love is about finding that special someone. A person who can be your better half, and someone to be your one. It was also my perspective that putting yourself out there is key.
Dating apps, speed dating events, chatting up the single guy/gal at the farmer’s market; that’s the stuff I encouraged my doctor friend to do. In the beginning, I would even take over his Tinder/Coffee Meets Bagel and try to get him a date my damn self. It felt like there was a tiny hurdle, but if I could help him jump over it, he could run the rest of the way. Experience was the word constantly in my mind. He just needed some of it. A little bit. If he could just go on one date, maybe start one casual relationship, it’d set him on the path of finding his ultimate one.
But it just never seemed to happen. The word busy came up a lot. Busy studying for his premed courses. Busy with medical school. Busy at his residency. Busy felt more like bullshit to me. Becoming a doctor is busy though. Seeing him work throughout the years makes me comforted, knowing that if a doctor ever messed something up for me, at least they spent 8+ years for the privilege to do so.
My 2022 Introspective
But in all seriousness, his medical journey did change my perspective. I felt like I was on a journey to help him find love, and ultimately happiness. Looking at him today, he did find happiness, but it’s in his own way. He was a scrawny nerd when I met him, but now he’s a doctor working at one of the best hospitals in the world. And really, that’s what he wanted for himself all along. I’m just a side character in his story, and he made it in his. He’s doing what he loves.
It would be funny to hear some dating horror stories occasionally. It would be a proud moment when he does find love. But I suppose that moment isn’t now, and everything else going on is. It’s not just his salutation that changed. This mans used to do some belligerently unhealthy things, like showing off his peanut butter oreo fudge ice cream:
Pretty unhealthy guy, given the profession and circumstances really. However he made it his personal goal to lose weight as well, get fit, and ultimately run some races, and he did it. He made it a priority to put his goals and self care first.
I used to wish that he had my experiences. “If only he knew what love felt like.” But nowadays, I find myself wanting to be more in his shoes. Finding a passion, executing on goals, and living a life that’s internally wanted and not externally expected; doesn’t that sound lovely?
I think it does. Maybe that’s love.